Day 8

Well, today we saw the lactation consultant again and Evan gained almost an ounce since yesterday. He is still not draining the breast, so they gave me a supplemental nursing system to try. It is supposed to encourage him to suck harder to get the milk out. It is the weirdest tube thing, like eating by IV tube, that I attach to the breast. It freaks me out a little. I really hope this works, if it doesn't, they want me to give him a bottle of pumped breastmilk to get his weight back up to birthweight. Maybe we will try breastfeeding again after a while, or maybe just a couple of times a day and then once he is better at it try it more full time. I am just so upset and I feel like such a failure and that something is wrong with my baby. I am also on this prescription drug, reglan now to increase my milk supply more because our allergist said to stay away from fenugreek since it is in the peanut family. It seems like everything is just falling apart and Oliver isn't getting enough to eat and won't latch on most of the time. No wonder so many people use formula, I almost wish that I had never tried to breastfeed then maybe I wouldn't feel like I'd failed. I really don't see how this supplemental nursing system is going to help enough to make a difference. I'm so afraid that the minute he takes a bottle, he is not going to want the breast anymore, because that's what happened with Evan. How can you try so hard at breastfeeding and it just not work out?